Leslie and Keenan Bishop’s rural Franklin County home is full of their children’s Chinese heritage. Green tea steeps in traditional Chinese mugs; brightly colored decorations line the walls; the couple even keeps a stock of Chinese treats and candies. There is a settled feeling to their multicultural home. But the path to get there was a challenging one.

 

Julie Erwin is in the business of removing obstacles from that path to adoption.

She started her Danville-based company, Adoption Assistance Inc., nine years ago. The agency has assisted more than 900 Kentucky families with adoptions from 22 countries, including the United States.

“Korean adoptions started during the Korean War,” explained Erwin, who has adopted five children from overseas with her husband, Bill. “But international adoption really took off about six or seven years ago.”

Adoptive families come in all shapes and sizes. Some parents already have biological children, while others cannot have children due to infertility.

“At first, a majority of our families adopted because of infertility,” said Erwin. “Now about half of our families are adopting and also have biological children. They feel like there are children in the world they want to help, or they have two boys and want to have a girl, for example.”

Many families choose to adopt internationally because these adoptions are “closed,” meaning the biological parents have given up their legal rights. The process, which varies from six months to two years, can also be faster than domestic adoptions.

China, Russia, Guatemala and South Korea top the list of countries from which American families adopt. Laws can change quickly, making adoptions suddenly difficult or even impossible in some countries.

The cost of international and domestic adoptions is about the same. “Most adoptions cost between $15,000 and $20,000, whether in the United States or from another country,” Erwin said.

She advises potential adoptive parents to research their options before contacting an adoption agency. After this initial contact, the next step is the home study, during which someone from the agency comes to the family’s home.

Next, adoptive parents must gather and provide paperwork to the agency. Finally, the family waits for a referral, when a child is available for adoption.

The adoption process is a challenging and emotional experience for prospective parents. But as three Kentucky families demonstrate, the benefits are well worth the effort.

--Hayley Lynch

Bringing Chinese culture home

“By the time we decided that we wanted kids, we realized we weren’t going to have kids the easy way,” remembers Leslie Bishop.

First, she and Keenan tried fertility treatments. They emptied their savings account to try in-vitro fertilization and other techniques. Nothing worked.

“Adoption was always in the back of our minds as an option,” Leslie said. “It eventually became our only option.”

With so much money invested in the treatments, however, the Bishops found themselves with few financial resources for adoption.

“After the fertility stuff, we were so broke I thought we’d never have children,” said Leslie. “But my husband came home one day and said, ‘get your butt in gear—we’re adopting a baby.’”

The couple explored domestic adoption but eventually decided to adopt a child from overseas using a Lexington-based agency. They paid for each stage of the adoption process as they could, step by step. Friends helped along the way.

“We had our annual Christmas party, and unbeknownst to us, they were collecting money behind the scenes,” remembered Keenan. “There’s no way they could have known this, but it was the exact amount we needed for the next step.”

When the Bishops traveled to China to adopt their first daughter, Bailey, they didn’t know what to expect. They saw the orphanage, called Mother’s Love, where she lived before being placed with a foster family.

“It was the model orphanage of China,” said Leslie.

However, when the Bishops returned to China to adopt their second daughter, Carley, she was brought to the hotel where they were staying. The Bishops eventually got to visit Carley’s orphanage, but many parents who adopt from China don’t have that opportunity.

On this second trip to China, Leslie and Keenan wanted to take in as much authentic Chinese culture as they could. After flying for 30 hours, they decided to visit Beijing’s Dirt Market, an outdoor market full of cultural collectibles.

The Bishops brought more than their daughters home from China. They brought home a desire to downsize—to live a simpler life in a smaller house. And because they took the time to experience real Chinese culture—not just what was in the tourist brochures—they brought back vivid memories to share with their children.

“We didn’t want to just read about it,” said Leslie. “We wanted to tell them about the gross dessert, and the wonderful duck, and the cobblestones that went ‘chink, chink, chink.’”

Bailey and Carley Bishop are now 10 and 6 years old. Their parents keep Chinese culture in their lives in many ways. Every year, for instance, the family goes to a Chinese New Year’s celebration with a group they belong to called Families with Children from China.

Leslie and Keenan Bishop do not know their daughters’ birth names, but they gave them Chinese middle names. Bailey’s middle name is Maya Lin, after the Chinese-American architect who designed the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C. Carley’s middle name is Chen Lu, for the Chinese Olympic figure skater whom Leslie grew up watching on television.

The Bishops also want to clarify a common

misconception about overseas adoptions.

“People come up to us and say, ‘Those

kids are so lucky, you saved their

lives,’” said Keenan. “It’s just the

extreme opposite. We’re the lucky

ones. We are not saviors. They saved

us.”

Eastern Europe to central Kentucky

After facing infertility issues, Lexington couple Anna and Tim Martin saw an adoption agency’s ad for an informational seminar. They decided to check it out.

“We knew the agency wasn’t for us, but we knew it was the path we were called to follow,” said Anna. The couple began researching other adoption agencies and settled on Julie Erwin’s company.

Even with Erwin helping them, however, the Martins found that the process of overseas adoption was still a challenge.

“This process is not a perfect process,” said Tim. “There are many things out of your control.”

One thing the couple could control was how quickly they put together their dossier of paperwork—a time-intensive process of gathering medical and family histories, recommendation letters and more.

“This is one thing I always tell people considering adoption: Take the dossier seriously,” advised Anna. “People don’t realize that by not doing this, they are slowing down their adoption process.”

The Martins treated the dossier like a part-time job until it was completed. After doing their home study with Erwin, they turned in all of their paperwork in October 2003. They received their referral in February 2004 and traveled to Russia three weeks later.

“The process length varies for everybody,” said Anna, noting that both of her children’s adoptions took a relatively short time, but this can be the exception and not the rule.

The Martins’ first adoption was “blind”, meaning that they knew very little about the child they were adopting. “We knew there was an infant girl waiting for us,” said Anna. “But we knew if we waited for medical information, it would’ve taken eight more weeks.”

So the couple traveled to Yekaterinburg, Russia, and met their first child, a 6-month-old girl whose Russian name was Ana. “We knew right then and there—that’s who God had chosen for us,” said Tim. “It’s hard to describe that emotion.”

The couple named her Anna Katherine, after her Russian name and town. The Martins had to leave Anna Katherine in Russia after only five days, to wait back home for the paperwork to be processed in Russia.

“It was gut-wrenching,” Tim recalled.

Four weeks later, the couple returned to Russia, staying there for 23 days before the formal adoption in Moscow. When they got home with their daughter, they were already thinking about their next adoption.

“We wanted to go back to Russia, but Russia was shut down,” remembered Anna. The Russian government halted most international adoptions a few years ago is now only slowly reopening the process. After Anna Katherine settled in with her new family, the Martins decided to adopt from Kazakhstan, a country on Russia’s southern border.

“We wanted to have a child with the same background,” said Anna. After getting a referral for their second child, the Martins traveled to the town of Semipalatinsk, Kazakhstan. But when they met the child, something didn’t seem quite right.

“We were told four different stories about the child,” said Anna. “They were not trying to be deceitful; there is just so little known about the kids.”

The Martins trusted their instincts and turned down this first referral. (The child was later adopted by a family from Colorado.) It turned out to be the right choice—another baby, in the same room of the same orphanage, was waiting for them.

“When we saw Alex, we knew right away that he was our child,” Anna said. Their baby’s Russian name was Alexander—they kept this name and added Timothy before it, after his adoptive father.

“We really experienced the culture in Semey,” said Anna. “The second time around we knew much more what to expect. We relaxed and got the full experience.”

The Martins want their children to know about the journeys it took for their family to be complete. They brought home Russian and Kazakh books, ornaments, dolls and more. The couple also kept an online blog of their experiences that the kids can read when they get older.

“We will always respect our children’s birth country,” said Anna. “But we really believe they are our children—that they were put on earth for us. They just came through a different way.”

Special needs, special family

Jasper and Jace Bowling are much like other kids their age. Ten-year-old Jasper happily watches a movie, while his 6-year-old brother scowls because it wasn’t his turn to choose it.

But like most brothers, they eventually settle their differences and just watch.

You have to look closer to realize these two boys have physical challenges most kids don’t face.

“It’s called proximal focal femoral deficiency,” explained Ed Bowling, who adopted both of his sons from China. “It happens when the bones start forming in the womb—they think it’s related to the nutrition of the mother.”

Both boys have the condition, though they are not biologically related. It begins in the femur, or thigh bone, and can then affect just about any other bones in the body.

Jasper’s left femur is shorter than his right, and he is also missing a bone in his left leg. He is missing his right hand and the bones in his right arm from the elbow down. Jace has two fingers and a thumb on each hand. Before a recent surgery, the femur in his left leg was only two inches long, his knee was not working and he had only a small deformed left foot. Jasper has also undergone surgery to maximize the use of his limbs. Jace will soon be fitted with a prosthetic leg.

“Jasper plays baseball, soccer and basketball,” said Bowling. “Jace played basketball this year. They are totally independent.”

Bowling was divorced when he decided to adopt as a single father. “It’s hard to find somebody,” he said. “I always loved kids and being around kids. So I thought, ‘I’ll just go about it backwards.’”

Bowling and his sister Beth Ann were both adopted. So he was already comfortable with the idea. After doing research on the Internet, he found an agency in Seattle, Wash., that did single-parent adoptions. He filled out an application, and the agency sent him a book with photographs of children overseas who were awaiting adoption.

“I noticed there were these older children who hadn’t been adopted,” Bowling remembered. “I thought, someone needed to give them a chance.”

Bowling realized that many of these children were special-needs kids. “People wanted babies with two arms and two legs,” he said. “But when I turned to their page, they just spoke to me.”

Bowling’s background as an orthopedic nurse made him confident that he could help Jasper and Jace.

“I was very fortunate with both kids,” said Bowling. “They sent me a video of Jasper and X-rays for Jace.”

Being willing to adopt special-needs children meant that not only did Bowling get more medical information than many adoptive parents, but the adoption process also went faster.

“The first time, I was scared to death,” remembered Bowling.

Bowling took Jasper and a friend on the second trip. “With Jace’s trip, I got out and saw the sights and had more fun,” he said.

Jasper was 4 years old when he came to the United States, and Jace was 5. Because they learned English later than most kids, both boys have an English-language teacher at school. After school, Bowling’s mother—a retired first-grade teacher—tutors the boys until Bowling gets home from work.

“I didn’t have a life before I had them—I just went through the motions,” said Bowling. “You just don’t realize how much you can love kids and have a ball with them.”